Discovering Gouache, Collage, and My Creative Path

For a long time, I thought I knew who I was creatively. I wrote stories, dreamed about novels, and pursued careers that seemed practical. Yet something always felt slightly out of reach. I kept searching for the thing that would truly feel like mine.

Then I discovered gouache.

At first, it was just another art supply. But the more I painted, the more I realized that gouache suited the way I liked to work. I make mistakes often, and gouache allowed me to paint over them. I could experiment, adjust, and keep moving forward. Instead of fighting the medium, I felt like I was working with it.

As I painted more, I found myself caring less about becoming perfect and more about enjoying the process. I painted flowers, cats, beaches, and pages for my children's book projects. For the first time, I wasn't dreaming about creating. I was actually creating.

Then something unexpected happened.

I discovered collage.

Armed with painted paper and scissors, I created my first collage. A mushroom in a magical little forest appeared from pieces of paper I had painted myself. Soon after, ladybugs and flowers followed. I felt the same excitement I had felt when I first discovered gouache. What surprised me most was how freeing collage felt. There was no pressure to draw everything perfectly. Instead, I could think in shapes and colors. Each piece of paper became part of a tiny world waiting to be assembled.

Through gouache and collage, I began to understand something important about myself. I don't think my greatest passion is writing novels. I think my greatest passion is telling stories visually. Whether through painted illustrations, collages, picture books, or graphic novels, I want to create worlds that children can step into and explore.

I still have much to learn. My collages are not perfect. My illustrations are not perfect. But perfection is no longer the goal. Growth is. Every page, every painting, every collage teaches me something new.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a direction. Not because someone told me what to do, but because I discovered something I genuinely love. The path ahead may be long, but I am excited to walk it one illustration at a time.

And who knows? Maybe one day, a child will pick up one of my picture books, smile at a collage mushroom or a painted cat, and enter a world I created from paper, paint, and imagination.

Mateja